The Last Word on Cataract Surgery

In Greek mythology, Argus Panoptes was "the all seeing." A man with many eyes. Early accounts say he had four eyes, later a hundred. Glad I'm not Panoptes.

Today they removed the cataract from my left eye. Apparently, it was a lot thicker than the one in the right eye. So it took a little longer and generated some swelling. But the results are every bit as miraculous! Not a lot of vision, but by far, much more light!

There will be a few weeks of eye exercises to retrain the muscles, and a lasik procedure in the right eye, but other than that, it's just drops, drops, drops! (My aim is getting better!)

Like I said, I'm glad to be human and only have to deal with this twice, unlike Argus Panoptes, who may have needed four procedures, or a hundred. :)

Cataract Surgery Update

Pardon my spelling. It took me 5 tries to log on, and I can't read one word of what I am typing without a magnifying glass. So this will be a short report. Whoever said this surgery would be a piece of cake probably had two good eyes. I know I am impatient, but I expected magic. It doesn't work that way. My surgery was at 9 am...it is now almost 6 pm, and I am lucky not to be tripping over furniture. I am very afraid that I have made a huge mistake.

Up close, everything is a mottled blur. In the distance, everything is surrounded with dense fog.

The surgery was painless, as I was told it would be. Intense light throughout the procedure, and some pressure in the eye, but no pain. And it was quick, the procedure took less than 5 minutes. No blackout, and I didn't blink. (They fasten your eye open, so you can't blink.)

It's the aftermath I'm having trouble with. It's scary not being able to see what time it is on what I know is a perfectly good clock. Hopefully, I will see more clearly tomorrow. There are lots of good stories to tell about this day - being face to face with a seeing-eye dog, a guardian angel, the silence of the van...

Meanwhile, here's lookin' at you!

PS: Hats off to whoever invented the magnifying glass!

Cataract Surgery in the 21st Century

I think this was supposed to be a whole lot more dramatic...cataract surgery, where they take the knife to your eyeballs. The doctor has a serious, mournful look on his face. A combination of sincere pity, and hand-rubbing excitement. Not so in the 21st century. These doctors look through you,analyzing measurements, surface curvatures, ratios, circumferences, throughput, and God knows what else. Probably muscle tension, mileage, and RBIs.

My question is, what will I see while I'm wide awake? That moment, after the incision is made, after the breakup and vacuuming of the "cloudy lens material" (which sounds so disgustingly "dirty-carpet"). I think I will be momentarily totally blind. No lens...? What can you see with no lens...?

So when they insert the magic artificial lens...all of a sudden I will see again? What if it's wrong? What if someone left it on the dash of their car for a couple of hours, baking in the sun? What if someone's ballpoint pen exploded and a tiny drop of ink splashed onto it? What if something went wrong in the lens-making process and they forgot to include blue (my favorite color)?

How do they know it will fit? Is everyone's eye the same size? What if it's too small, will there be a halo of black all around everything?

I'll give you the play-by-play. What I see (or don't see) during the procedure. Whether it hurts or not. How much of a nuisance the drops are (I think it's every two hours). Trust me, this an adventure of...well, blind faith.

One other thing...they say it only takes 5 minutes. But I've never gone five minutes without blinking. What if I blink?

The Wall

In every life there is a crossroads where you realize that there are arguments bigger than you. These are not arguments that are necessarily right or true, they are just arguments you are not going to win, no matter how right or true your position is.

My first experience with this principle was with a Baptist minister. I was a Baptist by choice, fully convinced that I had made not just the right choice, but the only choice, given the facts as any 16-year-old would understand them. I fell in love with a Catholic, and by some miracle of consequence, at the ripe age of 17, I became pregnant.

I tried to explain to my Baptist minister that these things happen, that God had a plan for my life that quite possibly included the father of my child, in which case we should be married.

The pastor would have none of it. Something about unequal yoking, which conjured up visions of my being a cow, pairing myself off with some evil alien being. The pastor refused to perform a marriage ceremony. I had met "the wall".

I was quite indignant. So I became a Catholic - same redemption, different songs. Little did I know the hoops the Catholic Church had in store for me. Again I made not only the right choice, but the only choice, given the facts as a 23-year-old mother would understand them. I was so holy, attending daily mass. I confessed (internally) several times a day. I was pretty happy about it all.

Then my marriage got derailed. So I explained to my priest how these things happen, and God had a plan for my life, which included standing up for the truth. But the priest would not hear of it. Something about "til death do us part", no matter how degrading, humiliating, insulting, or barbaric. Again I met "the wall".

So now I am a Lutheran. I am now being asked to accept "unity", "diversity", and "inclusiveness."

At this stage of my life, I know walls. I have reconciled my thinking to realize that I am not going to change anything. I have realized that the wall is real, and the important part is to decide which side of the wall I will be on.